Dear Country Living,
I really do love you but your plumbing sucks. Septic tank life is not for me…I miss my sewer system terribly. You have failed me three times in only 3 weeks. I did not want to meet two different plumbers on this island so soon. I did not want to pay hundreds of dollars – twice – because somebody used one square of toilet paper too many. I did not want to know that it was possible for things that should never been seen again to come seeping up through my toilet and my BATHTUB. I did not want to hear my brother yell “Shitter’s full!” with a smile every time he walked into my house. I did not want to own a toilet where you have to press 1 for “liquid waste” and 2 for “solid waste”. I do not want to have to explain to our guests that our house now has a two flush rule God forbid you need to poop here. This is just way too complicated.
Sincerely, Reformed toilet paper waster