Dear Country Living,

I really do love you but your plumbing sucks.  Septic tank life is not for me…I miss my sewer system terribly.  You have failed me three times in only 3 weeks.  I did not want to meet two different plumbers on this island so soon.   I did not want to pay hundreds of dollars – twice – because somebody used one square of toilet paper too many.  I did not want to know that it was possible for things that should never been seen again to come seeping up through my toilet and my BATHTUB.  I did not want  to hear my brother yell “Shitter’s full!” with a smile every time he walked into my house.  I did not want to own a toilet where you have to press 1 for “liquid waste” and 2 for “solid waste”.  I do not want to have to explain to our guests that our house now has a two flush rule God forbid you need to poop here.  This is just way too complicated.

Sincerely,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Reformed toilet paper waster

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