So as you may know from my last blog post, I have lost my wallet and more importantly, my drivers license. I have a California drivers license, which was JUST renewed, but recently moved to Washington state. At first I figured I could just call up the California DMV and have them mail me a new license. How naïve of me.
First of all, there is no CALLING the DMV…there are only recordings and more recordings which all basically tell you to GO to the DMV. The recording says that replacement drivers licenses must be obtained in person so they can fingerprint you, etc.. I went online to try and book an appointment but the next available appointment was over 3 weeks away and I was only in town for 5 more days.
I figured it would probably be easier to just get a Washington State drivers license. So I called the local DMV where I live in Washington where I was informed that unless I could produce my original CA drivers license, I would have to obtain a license like a 16 year old. That is, take the written test, the vision test and the ROAD test. But…oh yeah, the DMV doesn’t actually give road tests anymore so you have to pay a private company to do it. Since I was fairly certain I would pass none of these tests (would they give me 14 chances to parallel park which is about how many it takes me?) I headed out the next morning to do something that is on my Top 10 List of Things Never To Do In Life…go to a California DMV without an appointment.
I soon discovered even worse news…one of the local DMV offices was closed down for 5 months. So the other local office was now serving the population of both offices and that was where I was now headed. I quickly did some research and found that there were currently 4 DMV offices in Orange County serving a population of 3.09 million people. Holy shit.
I should have left when I had to park half a mile away. I should have left again when I saw the line coming out of the building and snaking around the shopping center like Wal-Mart on Black Friday. Except there would be no $69 big screen TV at the end of this line. But I waited. I listened to the people around me talking about how they heard that this line would be about 90 minutes but that this was just the line to get your number before the ACTUAL wait! And still I waited.
Until the line moved into the sun.
Now, it was February in Orange County which means that at 9:00 a.m. on that line the temperature was nearing 80 degrees. And for the first 20 minutes in the shade I could handle that. But the SUN. For those of you who don’t know me, this is the reason I MOVED out of California to the Pacific Northwest. To get away from the sun. Yes, I know…it sounds crazy and weird, blah, blah, blah. Who doesn’t like sunshine? ME. I absolutely HATE being hot. The sun beating down on my head is like torture to me. Worse than having to pay to re-take the road test. So after wasting 30 minutes of my life I will never get back, I gave up, dejected, and left.
Which brings me to my next blog entry and a new addition to my Top 10 List of Things Never To Do In Life….try to get on an airplane with no identification whatsoever.