Ahh, sleep….so coveted by parents and so scorned by children everywhere. It’s a trifecta of misery – kids don’t want to go to bed, don’t want to stay in their bed, and on school mornings, don’t want to get out of bed. Weekends, of course, they’re up at the crack of dawn. With three kids and a bed-hopping labrador, my house is like a 24-hour motel with people checking in and out of rooms all night long and I am the manager that is never off duty.
Nightmares are the issue of the moment around here. When I was a kid, I had a recurring dream about my dad and I being eaten by a shark (thank you, “Jaws”). I remember waking up and running as fast as I could into my parents room scaring them half to death as I took a running leap into the middle of their bed. Well, let me tell you, 1970’s parents were not the pushover parents of today…they did not run out and buy a parenting book on how to deal with this. No, my parents didn’t mess around – about two nights of those shenanigans and their bedroom door was subsequently closed and locked. I would then sleep on the floor in the hallway outside their door, vowing to never lock a child of MINE out when I was a mom. Fast forward 35 years and I have kept that promise, for better or worse. Mostly worse.
And there lies the inspiration for today’s post. My mom recently purchased the Disney soundtrack of “Frozen” for my 5 year old, which was the best and worst gift ever. It was the best because it has been loved and listened to incessantly and the worst because it’s like a virus of songs that infect your brain and I have yet to find the cure. The mother of all catchy songs on the album is “Let it Go” and the other night, while struggling to get my youngest to bed, I started to sing “Go to Bed” to the tune of the song. The kids started laughing so I decided to re-write the rest of the lyrics as well. So here is my first-ever parody….”Go to Bed”, sung to the tune of “Let it Go”. And by sung I mean imagine me singing in your head because you do NOT want to hear me actually attempt to sing that song. Trust me, I tried. There’s a fine line between funny and “Oh my God, I would rather be getting a root canal than have to listen to her for one more second.” A line I was too chickenshit to cross. Hey, I’m a writer, not a performer…gimme a break.
UPDATE: I wrote the above post a couple of weeks ago, ready to post my lyrics with a few photos on a slideshow…about as technical as I get. My very creative 11 year old son, however, convinced me that it would be way better if I let him make a video for the song. Since then he has worked tirelessly creating, filming, editing and then even singing it himself when no one else was brave enough to even touch that song. So a huge thanks to Jack…I hope Steven Spielberg will someday pay you more than $20 and some cookies.