HAS ANYONE SEEN MY MIND? I SEEM TO HAVE LOST IT

Remember that famous anti-drug commercial from the 80’s that went something like this?

This is your brain.

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This is drugs.

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This is your brain on drugs.

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Well, here is my personal version of that ad…

This was my brain.

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This is kids.

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This is my brain after having those kids.

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Seriously, check out a few incidents just this month alone in the “am I losing my mind?” department…

1.   I came home from grocery shopping the other day and parked in our driveway.  Made about three trips from the car to the house carrying all the groceries in.  I put everything away and started puttering around the house doing laundry, starting dinner, etc..  Over an hour later my husband goes outside and hears a car running on our driveway.  That would be my car, which apparently I simply hopped out of and never turned off upon returning from the store.  All I could think was wow, you’ve got to be pretty spaced out to return to your car THREE times on your driveway on a quiet country road and never once notice it running.

2.  Decided to make pancakes and eggs one morning and the pancake canister seemed to jump out of my hands for no reason…

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Crap.  What could be more of a pain in the ass to clean up than fine, powdery pancake mix splattered everywhere?  Oh, right.   That would be the sticky, slippery raw eggs I dropped two minutes later.  Cheerios anyone?

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3.  I had to return a chainsaw to Home Depot and do some other shopping there, which means traveling off-island.  Not that big of a deal but you really don’t want to forget something because it’s an hour round-trip back if you do.  I’m driving down my street when I realize I forgot to bring the main reason I was going…the chainsaw.    Went back home and grabbed it, relieved that I noticed it wasn’t there before I had gone too far.  Get back on the road and twenty minutes into driving I look over at the chainsaw on the seat next to me and notice something else missing.  My purse.  Which has my wallet and the receipt.  I turn around for the second time this outing and go back.  It’s really not so bad living on an island where nothing is convenient except for the days you’re an absentminded airhead.

4.  As I was getting ready to leave the house a couple of days ago I picked up my cellphone off the kitchen counter and put it in my pocket.  Grabbed my purse and walked about 20 feet out to the car and somehow thought to myself, “Shoot, I forgot my phone.”  Went back inside and searched all over the house for my phone until I realized where it was and also realized that I had deemed it forgotten less than one MINUTE after putting it in my pocket.   Remember the Saturday Night Live skit “Mr. Short Term Memory” with Tom Hanks?   Totally me.

5.  I saw a play recently and one of the characters in the play was this derelict, dirty, really scary looking bad guy.  The actor who played him was absolutely amazing as he totally creeped me out with his performance.  A few days later I was at a store when I spotted him…the amazing guy from the play!  I walked right up to him and said, “Hello, I saw you in the play last week.  You were great!”  The guy looked at me through bloodshot eyes and said, “What?  You think I was in a play?  Ha, ha, ha, ha!”  and started laughing maniacally as I suddenly realized my mistake.   You’d think I would know that the actor playing the derelict wouldn’t actually LOOK like a derelict when not in character.   No, I marched right up to an actual dirty, really scary looking guy and struck up a conversation about the theatre.  My husband thought this was hilarious when I told him what happened.  Yeah…hilarious.  The crazy part is shortly after that happened my family and I actually saw the real guy from the play at a restaurant and we stopped and told him how incredible we thought his performance had been.  And, oh yeah, he was neat, clean, smiley and not scary looking at all.

6.  I usually write my blog entries in my head and while thinking about this one last week, I was on my way home from the store to pick up Ava at her bus stop.  I was so wrapped up in thinking about losing my mind, that I drove straight home instead, actually passing right by the bus stop on my way.  I didn’t realize I forgot to get Ava until I was on my driveway. The irony in that one, huh?

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7 comments on “HAS ANYONE SEEN MY MIND? I SEEM TO HAVE LOST IT

  1. Bunni says:

    I have to believe all mothers go through this. If I don’t, that means we all lost our minds while we were raising kids! Always remember, “you’re not alone”!! You just have the ability to turn it into humor, me I almost took to drink.

  2. Maureen says:

    Janene, that’s normal in this family!! Love that you put it into a story.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  3. Fran Collica says:

    Janene my sweetheart you are not alone. Unfortunately, this has happened to all of us. Fortunately, you have a wonderful sense of humor about it. I, on the other hand, beat my kids.

  4. janene says:

    You and my mom both! If there were iPhones back then…oh, the videos I would have of my mother. 🙂

  5. Ga says:

    I never beat my kids; I gently spoke to them in a calm manner to get my point across. How’s that for funny?😉

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