DEAR CHILDREN….PLEASE TAKE A LESSON FROM THE DOG

Dear Children,

Last night as I was about to feed Charlie his dinner, I watched him, tail wagging and barely able to contain his excitement, as I dumped a scoop of food into his bowl. The same exact scoop of the same exact food that he has been eating for breakfast, lunch and dinner every single day of his life.

You would think I had slaved over a hot stove for hours and prepared him a gourmet feast judging by his eagerness and pure appreciation for this food.

Now when I actually do slave over a hot stove for hours in my ever-failing attempts to make a new recipe that all of YOU will actually eat….well, let’s just say that your level of excitement and appreciation is not quite the same as Charlie’s.

And that made me start thinking of all the other ways in which it would really help me out if you guys could be more like the dog….

SLEEP

Charlie goes to bed without being told and gets up when I wake up, regardless of the time. Whether it’s 7:00 a.m. or 10:00 a.m. he doesn’t get off the bed until my feet hit the floor. If he does wake up earlier, he lies politely and quietly, waiting for me to arise. Imagine if you did that? You would probably be hauled off to a lab somewhere for cloning.

Charlie takes multiple naps during the day. Even when you were younger, you guys viewed a nap as nothing short of torture and punishment…for fear of missing out on something, I guess. But what exactly…the giant party you think I throw when you’re asleep? Well, I’ve got news for you, kids – the only thing going on when you’re asleep is that I get to eat all the crap I said you couldn’t have. So there. The secret is out…now you are free to nap in peace.

FOOD

Charlie would never make some weird dog face and literally spit out the food I just served him, even if it was, God forbid, a green vegetable. Charlie eats what is put in front of him, without complaint. Period.

LISTENING

Charlie listens intently to me all day long. I know this because no matter where I am in the house, if he overhears me say the words “play” or “ball”, he will come running to my side within seconds. And I always wonder, “how the hell did he hear that?” But it’s because he is always paying attention. I do not have to scream “DINNER IS READY!” five times at Charlie. Even if Charlie could talk, I just know he would never respond with “I have 5 more minutes left in my show” or “Hold on…I just need to beat this level”. Because Charlie is not rude….and you my little darlings, are.

MOODS

In case you haven’t noticed, Charlie has one mood….happy. He doesn’t get cranky when he goes to bed too late, he doesn’t throw a fit if he doesn’t get his way, he doesn’t get jealous or fight with anyone else in the house. Ever. He would be thrilled to get the smallest piece of the pie. Or the bread you deem “too seedy.” Charlie would never tell Dad and I that we “chew too loud”.

GETTING READY

Charlie is always ready to go. Wherever I want, whenever I want…I say “let’s go” and he is out the door within seconds, eager to do ANYTHING. When I tell you all to get ready for the day I get a barrage of questions…”Where are we going?” “Do I have to go?” “How long are we going to be gone?” “Can I bring a friend?” And then the inevitable war which begins with one word…”SHOTGUN!”

AFFECTION

Charlie is as affectionate now as he was as a puppy and frequently all 75 pounds of him are lying in my lap.  Now, I’m not saying I want you guys to lay in my lap like in that freaky weird kids book “Love You Forever” where the grown man is sitting in his mom’s lap in the rocking chair – but every once in a while, a hug might be nice.

Love, Mom

Yes, there are many things to love about a dog but the thing I love most about Charlie is that he is my 6 year old’s best friend.  I put together a little video of the two of them that shows their special bond and I hope you will enjoy!