1. The lyrics to Yellow Ledbetter by Pearl Jam. Eddie Vedder…you’re amazing and all but I’ve heard that song countless times since 1992, and I still don’t know WTF you are saying. Just listen for like, 20 seconds…..
See what I mean? That song totally cramps my car karaoke jam, it’s much harder to annoy my children when I’m just mumbling nonsense the whole time.
2. Boy or turtle? A many years long, great debate in my family. I mean, clearly, it’s a turtle.
3. Where DOES the other sock go? It’s pretty much my goal in life to unload the whites from the dryer and have them all match up, just once. It will probably never happen, but a girl can dream, right?
4. How is it that I have a degree from UCSD but I can’t help my kid with 4th grade math homework?? I mean, I can figure out the answers, but according to my daughter, “THAT IS NOT THE WAY WE LEARNED IT AT SCHOOL!! YOU’RE DOING IT ALL WRONG!!”
5. How can an egg roll possibly retain heat for so long? I make like four attempts to eat it and I get screwed every time. I’m like a dog that gets shocked but I just keep comin’ back for more.
6. That Meat Loaf song, “I would do anything for love (but I won’t do that).” I know every single word to that song but for the life of me I can’t figure out what “that” is. Please, somebody tell me…what won’t he do??? This is the crap that keeps me up at night.
7. How is yawning contagious? I bet you yawned reading that, didn’t you? Want to see if someone you know is a psychopath? Yawn in front of them. People high in psychopathic personality traits often don’t “catch” the contagious yawn, because they are lacking in empathy. Just learned that today. MIND. BLOWN. And I yawned like six times while writing this so I am totally not a psychopath, just in case you’ve ever wondered.
8. Why and OMG WHY??? Nobody should eat their breakfast on a stick. NOBODY. (For some reason, I imagine myself saying that with a thick Italian accent. Probably because if my Italian ancestors saw the kind of crap Americans deem “food”, they would die).
Anyway, those are just a few of the things I ponder during my morning shower. Thanks for listening. How about you…what are some things you would like to know? Feel free to share in the comments!