Baker’s Remorse


I’ve always loved to bake.  I cook simply because there are mouths to feed over here but I bake because I thoroughly enjoy it.  And when it’s dark and cold and rainy outside there is nothing better than being inside a warm house with the smell of fresh cookies in the oven.

But something happened a few days ago that has never happened before…I sort of found my kryptonite.  I decided to try a new chocolate chip cookie recipe and I’ve completely lost all self-control.  Now, I like sweets as much as anyone, but I’m aware of the rules of normalcy….eating a couple of cookies after lunch, not a problem.  Eating SEVEN cookies before 10:00am….now it’s getting weird.  

And it’s gotten WAY weird with these cookies.  My first mistake was making far too much dough.  My second mistake was cooking them so that they were a little crispy on the outside yet chewy and gooey on the inside.  My final downfall was keeping dozens of these cookies in plain sight on my counter in a clear plastic container.

And every single time I walked into the kitchen there they were, just taunting me with their deliciousness.  Once I realized that me and these cookies had a little problem, I tried ignoring them.  Tried avoiding eye contact with the container.  I got to the point where I would spend lengths of time in the kitchen doing the dishes, preparing meals, stealing glances at the container out of the corner of my eye, pretending that I was going to win just this one battle and leave the kitchen empty-handed.

But I was shamefully defeated EVERY damn time.  When I opened the container to take this photo I LITERALLY PUT A COOKIE IN MY MOUTH AND IT WAS HANGING THERE while I clicked away.

When the kids asked to have a cookie I was like “YES!  Have a cookie!  Have FIVE cookies!  Pack them in your lunch and pass them out at school….JUST PLEASE MAKE THEM GO AWAY!  

Thankfully, the cookies are now gone and life resumes as normal with the exception that I can’t button any of my pants.  If any of you are curious as to the recipe, I apologize but after the last cookie was gone I ceremoniously burned it at the stake while singing “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” around my kitchen.

Just kidding…I’ll share it with you. Hope you have more self-control than I do!

Irresistible Chocolate Chip Cookies (Makes about 4 dozen)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cream together:
1 cup butter, softened
1 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup white sugar

2 eggs
1 tablespoon vanilla extract

Combine the following dry ingredients:
3 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
3⁄4 teaspoon baking soda

Gradually stir creamed mixture and dry ingredients together.

3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

Drop by large spoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheet.

Bake for 10-12 minutes, just until slightly browned.  Do not overbake!

If you have patience, let cool and devour.  If you’re like me, grab it warm and gooey off the cookie sheet and devour.

Feel free to share this recipe with other cookie-loving people in your life.

Pro Tip: Make sure to hide a stash for yourself as these will disappear quickly!

*If you enjoyed reading this post, I invite you to follow I Might Be Funny on Facebook…

This entry was posted in Food.

4 comments on “Baker’s Remorse

  1. Nana says:

    It’s nice to know you’re a normal human and not super mom. I refuse to make Dicks favorite cookies because they’re gone in a day. I do wish you still had the recipe though!

  2. Fran Collica says:

    You are the best baker ever. But, you should not have destroyed a gift from God!!!!!

  3. Mom says:

    Very funny; And why would you do this right before our big Thanksgiving feast?
    Thanks for finishing them before I get there next week”
    Love, MOM

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