21 Funny Tweets from the Most Relatable Moms on the Internet

I'm the kind of mom who burns one side of the grilled cheese, serves it to her kid with the non-burned side up, and crosses her fingers.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) May 26, 2017

The audacity of my husband not understanding exactly what I’m talking about when I start my sentence halfway through a thought

— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) November 13, 2022

A Pennsylvania man is suing Smart Water for not making him smart, and I’d like to formally announce my lawsuit against Thin Mints.

— Crystal Lowery (@Crystalllowery) September 29, 2019

Baby is born.

Me: Wow. Everyone thinks he looks exactly like my husband. I don’t think he got anything from me.

3 years later: child sighs heavily, slams doors, and rolls eyes so far back he can see his spine.

Me: Theeeere it is.

— The Mom at Law® (@TheMomAtLaw) July 2, 2018

And then God said, "yes Julie. You deserve $13 for opening the dryer on this Saturday morning. You do laundry for four people." pic.twitter.com/ykAWPTMcNM

— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) August 12, 2017

I accidentally wore a red shirt to Target today and, long story short, I'm covering for Debbie this weekend.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) October 14, 2016

Text from sitter: Your kids are tyrants. Come home now! Charging double!
Me: You invited them over, Mom, and I'm still in the driveway.

— Mama Needs a Nap by Lauri Walker (@MamaNeedsa_Nap) July 27, 2017

Spent ten minutes scrubbing the wall thinking my kids left a huge stain on it and then realized it was my own shadow. I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) January 14, 2021

I like to send little notes in my kid’s lunchbox, like “Sorry the Wheat Thins are stale, that’s what happens when you leave the box open.”

— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) October 8, 2018

I spent my time preparing a home cooked dinner and placed it in front of the kids who asked for something different, and laughed. Then I laughed. Then we laughed. Then I spoke in a voice not of this world & everyone ate their damn dinner.

— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻‍♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) May 1, 2019

If I complain about being out of shape I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people.

— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) March 6, 2021

My daughter locked eyes with a boy at the park, shouted his name while shaking her fist in the air, and he ran in the opposite direction. When I asked her what that was all about she said, “Oh, him? He’s my mortal enemy.” My 8YO leads an infinitely more interesting life than me.

— Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny) September 28, 2021

You're going to miss this, I whisper to myself as I'm shot in the butt with a nerf gun while unclogging the toilet.

— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) January 26, 2018

Husband: If anyone else whines they have to go right to bed!

Me: Ugh my pants are too tight. My feet are cold. Everyone is being too loud.

Kids: Ha! Mom has to go to bed!

Me: Goodnight, suckers.

— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) February 7, 2020

8yo: I feel like you're always making up rules and stuff

Me: like what?

8yo: like if we don't pick up our room a portal will open and take us to another dimension

Me: well that's what happened to your older brother

8yo: what older brother?

Me: exactly!

— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) September 19, 2019

Dolly Parton wrote “Jolene” and “I Will Always Love You” on the same day and I’ve been “getting ready to put away laundry” for the past five or six days.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) August 9, 2022

Sometimes I like to mess with my family and hide their stuff where they can't find it.

Like I put their shoes in the shoe closet, their jacket on a hanger and their keys on the key hook.

— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) January 8, 2020

I’m not a licensed interior designer but I just figured out you can make a room look 30% bigger if you put away the 14 loads of laundry on the floor wow

— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) July 20, 2018

I’m writing a fantasy fiction novel about a mom that has a cold and her family does things for themselves while she rests.

— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) November 23, 2022

Hats off to the waiter that kept a straight face as my 5yo ordered the vagina for lunch instead of the lasagna.

— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) June 22, 2021

Before I had kids, I thought I had a great immune system, but it turns out I was just really good at staying away from the type of people who sneeze directly into your eyeballs while telling you a story.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 10, 2018